My name is Marcella and I can’t stand my husband anymore.
Ethan and I have only been married for a few years now but, with all of the things that have been going on, it hasn’t been an easy few years.
Keep reading to learn my story about, what happened to my marriage, and how my husband and I saved it. Hopefully my story can help you deal with any troubles in your marriage.
When I first met Ethan, he was a guy who loved where he was in life. He had a job he loved and everything seemed to be more or less perfect.
He was so perfect that, when I was coping with anger issues and ruining relationships because of it, he stayed by my side no matter what.
As a couple, we got through the bad times together and that made the good times that much better.
So how did things deteriorate to the point where we were starting to drift apart?
These things don’t usually happen right away, but our problems seemed to stem from a single incident.
You see, Ethan worked in construction management and, while his company was hit hard by the financial crisis, it somehow survived. Looking back, it might have been better if it went under then because in the years afterward it just barely limped along until finally did die.
It was a hard thing to watch, because I could see Ethan becoming more despondent as time went on and he watched the company he worked for struggle until it finally died.
When it died and he found himself unemployed, I was there for him in the hopes that things would pick up and he’d have another job soon.
The days would come and go, and Ethan would always be at home feeling sorry for himself. He didn’t put much effort into finding work, not even when I tried to encourage him.
Over time, I came to realize that I couldn’t stand my husband when I would press harder for him to find a job and he would turn things back on me. He would say I was lashing out at him and that I had anger issues and unrealistic expectations.
Why does my husband treat me so bad when I’m only trying to help?
How did our marriage become so troubled so quickly?
Time passed and his anger, frustration, and resentment toward me only grew. Ethan needed help finding a new job, but it was also obvious that we needed help as a couple because our marriage was at the risk of coming apart.
The longer Ethan went unemployed, the more our marriage deteriorated. I guess you could say I kind of mirror his behavior because I only grew more frustrated and angry the worse things got.
I searched high and low for a way to fix it. Did we need therapy? Did we just need to spend a little time apart? Was it already a lost cause?
The alternative to marriage counseling that I came across talked all about communication in marriage and why it mattered.
The truth was that Ethan and I didn’t communicate. He would get angry and lash out, and I would get frustrated and just walk away and not deal with him. That made a rift between us that I wasn’t entirely sure could be repaired.
It was only when we began communicating more that I saw it was possible to fix our marriage.
As we when we spoke, I told Ethan about how seeing him act the way he had been was making me feel. I told him that I was there to help him, but I was feeling unappreciated by my husband.
I told him that I had no respect for my husband and that seemed to resonate with him.
He reflected on his behavior leading up to that time and, together, we examined what our marriage had become.
By opening channels of communication, we began to repair the damage that was done when I realized that I can’t stand my husband anymore. We began the healing process. We began rebuilding the thing that let us endure through the hard times in the past.
It’s a tough road, and I’m doing everything to help Ethan find work, but at least me saying “I can’t stand my husband anymore” is a thing of the past.
If you’ve faced similar problems, please fill out the information below. Hopefully you will be able to save your marriage just like I did.
My husband left me because he was "drowning." My therapist was leading me to divorce. I listened to Mort's program. With the grace of God it worked!
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