Marriage Problems and Your Kids

My father-in-law just sent this to me. I think you’ll appreciate it. It’s written by Martin Buxbaum.

You can use most any measure
When you’re speaking of ‘Success’.
You can measure it in fancy home,
Expensive car or dress.
But….the measure of your REAL success
Is the one you can not spend.
It’s the way your kids describe YOU
When they’re speaking to a friend!

Now you might be thinking, “Why is he sharing this me this? Isn’t this the MARRIAGE guy?”

Don’t worry; you’re not losing your mind. I am the marriage guy. And this IS about your MARRIAGE! Let me explain.

You’re probably trying your best to be a good parent, right? Think for a moment about all the time, energy, and money you put into your children. You send them to the best schools, help them with their homework, buy them the cutest Sunday clothes, work hard to save for their college education, take them to the best doctors, plan special birthday parties, drive them to baseball practice, and make their favorite dinner.

That’s all fine, but make no mistake about it; the MOST IMPORTANT thing you can do for your children is NONE of those things. The most important thing you can do for your children has nothing to do with their education, entertainment, athletic endeavors, or even their physical health. The most important thing YOU can do for your children is to have a GREAT MARRIAGE with your spouse.

It’s hard to be a good parent unless you have a good marriage. Why? Because teaching your children how to succeed in love is your MOST IMPORTANT responsibility.

There will be nothing more important in your children’s lives than the success of their marriage. (I know you know that.) And who’s going to teach them how to love their spouse. You are! But they won’t learn it from what you say; they’ll learn it from the life you lead…they’ll learn it from YOUR marriage.

Ralph Waldo Emerson said:

“Who you are speaks so loudly, I can’t hear a word you’re saying.”

Whatever you want your children to achieve in their life, you first have to achieve yourself. If you’re struggling in your marriage, it’s probably because your parents struggled too. Who’s going to break the cycle? Will YOU be the one to change things for generations to come? Or will your children suffer the same burden? Balls in your court.

It’s not easy to be what’s called a “transition person.” But it’s doable. YOU can be the “transition person” in your lineage and pave a new path for future generations in your family.

There’s nothing better for your children than to raised amidst the comfort of parents who love each other. And there’s nothing more devastating to a young soul than to be the victim of a broken family.

If your children don’t see love between you and your spouse, it won’t matter where they go to school or how fashionably they dress. But if they witness true love between you and your spouse, you will give them the greatest gift life has to offer.

Be a good parent. Do everything you can to succeed with your marriage.