Hello, my name is Susan. Nineteen years ago, I married what I thought to be a very ambitious man, Carl. Three kids later, and several jobs later, I am sad to say that my husband does nothing.
When dating, Carl was everything that I loved. He was handsome, smart, polite, and he had an amazing sense of work ethic. Growing up, my family always taught me that being a hard worker is very important, so it just made sense that I would marry a guy that was a hard worker.
Years went by, and my husband went from being the first one up to being the one that I would have to wake up to tell him that he was going to be late for work. He would call out sick every other day, and would “forget” to tell anyone where he was going. Next thing you know, he lost his job. Lucky for him he would get another job right away, and a few months later he would be looking for another job.
Constantly looking for a job became a pattern that I was not going to let slide. I figured maybe he is having a hard time so I told him to be that stay at home dad while I go out and work. At first he was great, and like all of the other jobs that he had he managed to forget to take the kids to school, or forget that they needed their lunches packed. Although my children are very self sufficient, there was no reason why my husband couldn’t assist them with their needs.
As time went by, I noticed the video games selection piling up and along with the games, was a big mess. Instead of being the husband that I thought he was or even the father that I thought he was, he became very lazy. Not only did my husband become lazy but he just didn’t seem to care about anything.
Every time I would ask my husband if anything is bothering him, he would right away say that all is good and he just needs a break. I would also ask him to help out a little more in the house, and instead of agreeing my husband would get extremely defensive. He would manage to make me think that I am a crazy person for even thinking that he doesn’t do anything.
The straw that broke the camels back is when I asked my husband to pick up the kids from school early that day. Of course my husband said he will but he conveniently forgot. Getting a phone call from my child’s school saying that they need a ride home was certainly not the phone call that I wanted to get.
After confronting my husband, and after him getting extremely defensive, I finally gave in and asked if we could go for marriage counseling. I was sick to my stomach that my husband does nothing. Something needed to change, and fast. Lucky for us, we found Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness program. Through this program, we were able to learn why there was so much tension and the importance of being a team throughout the marriage.
I was desperate cried and begged. I found Marriage fitness. After 9 months of saying get out she said "how do we heal?" It's been 4 months since our reconciliation and we feel a sense of optimism.
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