Hello, my name is Carly. I have been married to my husband John Paul for the past ten years. Throughout our marriage, we have certainly had many ups and downs, but for the most part, we worked on ways to move forward in our marriage. There is only one thing that I am not able to get off of my mind: My husband flirts with my friends.
I know my husband is a really outgoing guy. In fact, if someone would describe the both of us, I would definitely be the more reserved person. Growing up, my husband was always the center of attention and some would call him a “ladies man”. His personality was really what attracted to me him in the beginning. I knew what I was getting into when I married him but I thought he would switch from being a ladies man, to being my man. Unfortunately that didn’t happen.
Through the years, I have always had insecurity issues so having my husband flirt with my friends on a regular basis is not so comforting. Every time my husband and I are out with friends, we usually come home from the night with me upset at my husband and upset that my friends think it is okay to encourage my husband to flirt with them.
To keep my husband’s attention on me, I tried everything. I started off by having several conversations with my husband about my feelings about him flirting with my friends. Each conversation ended up with him saying that I was exaggerating, and using him being outgoing as being flirty. I tried speaking to my friends about my feelings, and each time they would say that it was all out of fun, and that they will try to stop the flirting. A week later, that conversation was definitely forgotten. I tried convincing my husband that the times we do go out, it should be the two of us but that lasted one or two times. I tried working on my looks, and changing the way that I dress. Nothing worked.
After feeling really fed up with my husband flirting, and not getting anywhere with it, I needed to find something that would fix our marriage. I didn’t want to always be the wife that mopes in the corner because my husband is getting all of the attention, and that he is flirting with other ladies. I wanted my husband to be proud to be with his wife, and not feel the need to flirt with other people. So I finally came with the idea of marriage counseling.
At first, my husband thought that I was crazy for suggesting marriage counseling but after a while of convincing, my husband saw that we really needed to work on our marriage. I needed to get over the fact that my husband flirts with my friends. My husband and I decided that Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness program was the answer to our problems. Through this program, we were able to learn how to communicate more efficiently, and my husband was able to differentiate between being outgoing and flirtatious.
I never suspected his infidelity. That was 2 years ago and nothing short of a miracle has happened. Our family is restored and our future is bright. It would not have been possible without your help.