Hello, my name is Christie. I would like to take the opportunity to share with you what happened after my husband gambled all our money. I would also like to share with you what happened that caused my husband and I seek help for our marriage.
Almost twenty nine years ago, I met my husband, John. From the second that I met my husband, I knew that I wanted to marry him. At the time when we met, my husband was going through a rough time and I was more than willing to wait for him to be ready to get involved in a relationship with me. Even though most of my friends and family were not so thrilled with the type of man that he was, I was willing to look past everything and continue our relationship.
John had a problem with gambling, and I was determined that I was going to help him. I waited until he told me he was not going to gamble anymore to marry him. The day that he told me that he was finished with his gambling ways, we started planning a wedding. But I was naïve and didn’t think he would ever go back to gambling. I couldn’t wait to marry him. I also couldn’t wait for everyone to finally approve of our relationship.
As years went by in our marriage, our finances were always a sore topic. I never knew what came into the marriage, and what came out. For years into our marriage, I would always ask why we didn’t buy a house and my husband would make up every excuse in the book as to why we were constantly moving. Since I trusted my husband, I didn’t think anything fishy was going on.
It wasn’t until John’s friends staged an “intervention” and confronted both him and I about money that was owed to them and how they were worried. I was in complete shock. I had no idea that my husband has been borrowing money for so long, and that the money that was coming into our marriage was used to gamble. Our entire marriage seemed to be a lie. Nothing made sense. I was so confused and scared. How was I going to fix this situation? My husband who had been lying to me for our whole marriage not only betrayed me but put me in tremendous debt without ever letting me know.
I was so upset that my husband put our family in jeopardy for such a selfish reason, and the fact that he lied all of these years made me irate. Not only was I angry with my husband, but I was angry at myself for actually believing that everything was fixed and taken care of. I should have known better to relinquish all of my earnings to my husband.
As much as I was angry that my husband gambled all our money, I also knew that something needed to be done. Either I would walk away from our marriage, or we would work something out. I needed to learn how to trust my husband again. After not getting anywhere with my husband, we decided that we should seek counseling. We came across Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness program. Through this program, we were able to learn how to better communicate with each other and to work on building trust again. Though earning trust doesn’t happen overnight, I am certainly seeing a huge improvement in my husband.
We unsuccessfully went to marriage counseling. I wanted to make things work but didn’t know where to turn. I found Mort’s program on the internet. I liked the alternative approach to counseling. Overall it has been a steady improvement.
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