I started to notice that my husband only talks about himself recently. I love to hear everything he has to say and everything about him yet, it was beginning to get a bit overwhelming to be around him. My name is Rita and I am a guest blogger for Marriage Fitness. I will tell you my story of how my husband and I were able to completely restore our marriage. Ben and I had been dating since college and were the typical in love couple. He would call me every day to see how I was doing and ask how my day went. Ben was great at putting the attention on me and making me feel special.
I always thought of Ben as a great listener. He was always genuinely interested in any story I was telling and he asked questions afterwards. Up till now, where anytime I would tell him my thoughts or feelings and he would interrupt me with his own thoughts and feelings. For the most part I would let it slide as not to make a big deal. It would often frustrate me when I told him a concern I had about him and he would answer “I think the same about you” or “you do the same thing.” I made sure to always address my feelings in a non-accusing way and to hear his side too but when he turned it around against me; I would get discouraged from the conversation and give up. At first I thought it was only during arguments but I slowly realized that my husband only talks about himself all the time.
The thing that made sad was that Ben stopped asking me how my day was anymore. When I would see him after work, he would tell me all about his day without mentioning mine. When he was around his friends and mine I saw that he was doing the same thing. It felt like he had no interest in other what other people had to say. I mentioned my feelings to him on a few occasions but he told me I was being ridiculous and that of course he wanted to hear everything about me too. Subconsciously, I found myself spending as little time together as possible. It wasn’t fun to be around Ben anymore. My husband only wants to talk about himself and nothing else.
I didn’t know if I was being too sensitive, so I sought out advice from Mort Fertel. So, I joined his Marriage Fitness Boot Camp as a lone ranger because Ben had no interest. I loved my husband and wanted to do everything to win back the caring Ben I once knew. Joining this program was the best thing I ever did for Ben and myself. It taught me how to approach my concerns and focus on restoring the love I had for my husband. Ben and I are now as happy as ever and he asks me how my day was every single day.
I was very reluctant to do the program, but I told my wife Michelle I would do it, essentially as a last ditch effort. It turned out to be one of the major things that helped save our marriage.
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