I started to notice that my husband only talks about himself recently. I love to hear everything he has to say and everything about him yet, it was beginning to get a bit overwhelming to be around him. My name is Rita and I am a guest blogger for Marriage Fitness. I will tell you my story of how my husband and I were able to completely restore our marriage. Ben and I had been dating since college and were the typical in love couple. He would call me every day to see how I was doing and ask how my day went. Ben was great at putting the attention on me and making me feel special.
I always thought of Ben as a great listener. He was always genuinely interested in any story I was telling and he asked questions afterwards. Up till now, where anytime I would tell him my thoughts or feelings and he would interrupt me with his own thoughts and feelings. For the most part I would let it slide as not to make a big deal. It would often frustrate me when I told him a concern I had about him and he would answer “I think the same about you” or “you do the same thing.” I made sure to always address my feelings in a non-accusing way and to hear his side too but when he turned it around against me; I would get discouraged from the conversation and give up. At first I thought it was only during arguments but I slowly realized that my husband only talks about himself all the time.
The thing that made sad was that Ben stopped asking me how my day was anymore. When I would see him after work, he would tell me all about his day without mentioning mine. When he was around his friends and mine I saw that he was doing the same thing. It felt like he had no interest in other what other people had to say. I mentioned my feelings to him on a few occasions but he told me I was being ridiculous and that of course he wanted to hear everything about me too. Subconsciously, I found myself spending as little time together as possible. It wasn’t fun to be around Ben anymore. My husband only wants to talk about himself and nothing else.
I didn’t know if I was being too sensitive, so I sought out advice from Mort Fertel. So, I joined his Marriage Fitness Boot Camp as a lone ranger because Ben had no interest. I loved my husband and wanted to do everything to win back the caring Ben I once knew. Joining this program was the best thing I ever did for Ben and myself. It taught me how to approach my concerns and focus on restoring the love I had for my husband. Ben and I are now as happy as ever and he asks me how my day was every single day.
My husband left me because he was "drowning." My therapist was leading me to divorce. I listened to Mort's program. With the grace of God it worked!
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