Hi, my name is Kimberly. As a guest blogger for the Marriage Counseling Blog, I wanted to share my story. Even though I knew my marriage wasn’t perfect, I wasn’t ready for what was to come. After five years of marriage, my husband wants a divorce but I don’t. It took me completely by surprise. The problems we experience aren’t anything major, and I always felt we could get through anything together. Now it appears that he doesn’t feel the same way I do and just wants to end things. However, I have convinced him to try a few things first.
Marriage counseling allows you to bring in a neutral third party who can help you talk through your problems and help you come up with solutions. After a few sessions, you should be able to see whether you are making progress or if your marriage is still heading down the road to divorce. During our counseling sessions, however, I realized that even if my husband wants a divorce, marriage counseling can help us work together after the divorce, especially in regard to the children. I’ve learned that marriage counseling can be helpful, even if you don’t stay together.
Some feel that an important tool you can use to try to save your marriage, even if your spouse wants a divorce, is a trial separation. Even though my husband wants a divorce but I don’t, I agreed to a trial separation to see what it was like on the other side after divorce. During a trial separation, you both act as if you are divorced, or at least on the road toward it. You are able to live your separate lives and still keep the possibility of getting back together. In some cases, one person may want a divorce because the marriage has become stale. This often happens, but it doesn’t have to mean the end for your marriage. The purpose of the trial separation is to show your spouse what he will be missing. This is usually not successful but we were willing to try anything.
It may sound strange to date each other when you are separated, but this can serve as a real turning point, especially if your marriage has grown stale. When I found out my husband wants a divorce and I asked him why, he felt that our marriage wasn’t exciting anymore and was too much work. When we separated, I suggested we date each other to try to rekindle what he felt we lost. This can also help when you feel as if you have grown apart over the years. Dating each other can help you get to know each other better again and remind you of why you fell in love in the first place.
Even though I’m not the one who wants a divorce, I have been willing to do whatever it takes to show my husband that he doesn’t have to give up. It can be difficult to convince someone if he has already made up his mind about getting a divorce, but it can be done with some effort. Maybe you won’t be able to convince him to remain married, but at least you will know that you made every effort to save your marriage before giving up.
Many people try Marriage Fitness as a last resort. When traditional marriage counseling and trial separations fail, couples realize they need more. I was considering signing up so I checked out some Mort Fertel reviews online and was thrilled to see all of the testimonials. I can’t wait to try this myself.
My husband left me because he was "drowning." My therapist was leading me to divorce. I listened to Mort's program. With the grace of God it worked!