My Wife Pushes Me Away

Hi, my name is Eric. Almost thirteen years ago, I married Kim. We started our relationship five years before we even got engaged. I thought that I knew my wife, and I definitely thought she will always be princess as I would be her prince.

Turns out I was wrong because my wife pushes me away.

At first I thought it was just me being overly sensitive or Kim being overly stressed out by work. I would put my arm around her, and she would immediately shove my hand away. I would try to hold her hand, and again she would shove me away. Whatever I did to show affection was not reciprocated at all.

Rare Alone Time

Conversations with Kim would be scarce. I would find out more about my two year olds day then I would know about my own wife. The times we spent alone were either spent watching TV, sleeping or she would be out gallivanting with her friends.

As time went on, I began to think that I really didn’t know who my wife was. I no longer knew what made her happy, and what her feelings were. She was basically a stranger in our marriage. I missed my wife terribly, and it seemed like she didn’t miss me. The thought of her pushing me away made me cringe.

My Wife Pushes Me Away
Is It Me?

Time after time, I would ask my wife if there was anything bothering her in our marriage, or in her life and she would immediately shoot me down and say that everything is great. She would turn me thinking something is wrong into me being paranoid or overly sensitive.

I must admit that there were times when I actually did think it was me reading too much into the situation, but then I would remind myself about the constant situations that we experienced and I knew it wasn’t me. I needed to find a way for my wife to feel comfortable with me, and want me again.

Trying to Improve Things

To start, I would come home from work earlier, and I would make sure to feed the kids, help with homework and put them to sleep. I would also attempt to take my wife on “date” nights. Each time I told her that I was going to take her out, she always came up with excuses like she ate already, or she is just tired.

My Wife Pushes Me Away

All of the excuses, and constant avoiding really irritated me. Especially because I genuinely thought that I was giving it my all and making every attempt to work on our marriage. Seeing that all my attempts were unsuccessful, I knew that I needed a change. It was either to start holding grudges, and arguing or to get help.

I finally took a stand, and asked my wife how we could move forward in a positive way for our marriage. To my surprise, she suggested that we would get marriage counseling. As much as I was hesitant, I knew that marriage counseling was the way to go. After all, my wife pushes me away and I need to fix that. Lucky for us, we came across Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness Program. Through this program, we were able to finally work out our differences and instead of pushing each other away, we became a unit again.

 

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I am not sure I could have done it without you. I would have given up and believed that because he was with someone else we were done. Thank you. We are forever indebted.

Debby Salter, M.D.

Lakewood, CO

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