Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.
Is that true?
We’ll get back to that.
First I want to remind you that the next Marriage Fitness Online Boot Camp begins Thursday, August 25th. You don’t have to go anywhere! It couldn’t be more convenient.
Thousands of marriages have been saved this year alone because of the Marriage Fitness Online Boot Camp. If you want to read some of those stories, go here:
www.MortFertel.com/marriage-online-boot-camp
If you want to become one of those stories, go here:
www.MortFertel.com/marriage-online-boot-camp
Would your spouse be willing to join you for the boot camp? If not, then you want the LONE RANGER TRACK of the Marriage Fitness Online Boot Camp where you learn how to single-handedly improve your marital situation AND inspire your spouse to join you in the process of renewing your marriage. Don’t fall into the defeatist trap of thinking that there’s nothing you can do about your situation unless your spouse cooperates. It’s not true! ONE PERSON can make an ENORMOUS difference in a marriage and it’s exactly that difference that can change your spouse’s mind.
If, on the other hand, you and your spouse are both willing to do the boot camp, then register for the DUO TRACK.
For details or to register for the Marriage Fitness Online Boot Camp, go to:
www.MortFertel.com/marriage-online-boot-camp
Now let’s get back to sticks and stones.
In elementary school, you would say “Sticks and stones can break my bones, but words can never hurt me.”
It felt good to say that, but was it true? No! The words did hurt you.
The truth is, words do MORE than break your bones. They break your heart.
During a recent phone session, a husband said to me, “Mort, after she said bleep, bleep, bleep I looked at her and for the first time in our marriage I HATED her.”
Hate? Wow, that’s a strong feeling.
Isn’t it amazing how a few words can change everything?
“I want a divorce.”
“You’re just like my first wife.”
“I’m done.”
“You’re just like your mother.”
“I hate you.”
“You’re fat.”
“You’re a loser.”
“You can’t do anything right.”
What have you said that’s been hurtful? What has your spouse said to you that broke your heart or poisoned your relationship?
In frustration or rage, people say the dumbest things and use the most obscene language. Even if you or your spouse didn’t mean to say it, once it’s said, the damage is done.
It’s like tearing open a down-pillow in a wind storm. You desperately want to get the feathers back, but they’re blowing in every direction. Like feathers of a pillow, hurtful words are irretrievable.
That’s why it’s so important for spouses to learn to control themselves and watch what they say.
You see, there’s actually a MARITAL reason you have 2 ears and only 1 mouth. It’s because you’re supposed to LISTEN twice as much as you talk. Imagine how different your marriage would be if you and your spouse did that.
“But Mort, I was just being HONEST.”
People think they can say anything in the name of honesty. But when you hurt someone with your words, it’s not honest; it’s stupid. And it’s insensitive.
Truth (in relationships) is not just a statement that’s factually accurate. It’s a statement expressed with the utmost concern for another person’s feelings. That’s more than honest; it’s Truth with a capital “T.”
I’d love to teach you more about truth, honesty, and how to protect your marriage from destructive dialogue. In the upcoming Marriage Fitness Online Boot Camp we’ll discuss:
– How to express your feelings in a healthy way.
– How to know what you mean and mean what you say.
– How to say what’s on your mind without destroying your marriage.
– What does it really mean to be honest with your spouse?
– How to control destructive impulses and calculate your words.
– How to listen so your spouse will talk.
– How to talk so your spouse will listen.
– How to heal from past hurts and mistaken comments.
For details or to register for the Marriage Fitness Online Boot Camp, go to
www.MortFertel.com/marriage-online-boot-camp
If you’d like to “meet” with me in a 1-on-1 session, you can schedule a PHONE session or a full-day “house call.” For more info and fees, go to:
www.MortFertel.com/marriage-coaching
Let me know if you have any questions. I’ll do whatever I can to help you.
Be well,
Mort Fertel
Author & Founder of Marriage Fitness
After listening to the first CD, I was blown away, and things started to make sense. Without this program, I would have said and done all the wrong things. Today, our marriage is the best it's been.
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