My name is Maxine and my husband, Quinton, and I were track for a nasty divorce. Here’s the story of how trust building exercises saved our marriage.
We’d been been married for thirteen years when I found out about his affair. This was late last year, shortly after I’d lost my job during a company buyout. I was already stressed and feeling helpless and this was the last thing I needed.
I was absolutely devastated.
I was certain that the only answer was divorce. You don’t think about how to save your marriage when you’re angry, hurt and overwhelmed. I know I didn’t. I just wanted to run away and hide.
I never could’ve imagined that a few months later my husband and I would be doing trust building exercises that were making our marriage better than ever.
For several weeks my husband cried, apologized, and begged me not to leave. I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say.
My response was always the same—I can never trust you again and I can’t be in a relationship without trust.
The only thing that kept me from leaving was our twelve-year-old son. Yeah, I still loved my husband, but I wanted out if I couldn’t trust him or believe in him again. I hadn’t even recovered yet, and I was already worried about being hurt again.
It was a couple of months after my husband’s confession (the affair had ended months earlier) that he came to me and suggested we try the online counseling alternative from this site. He found it while doing a search for information on how to save your marriage.
I told him that I didn’t think some internet counselor’s trust building exercises could help anyone—let alone our situation. I was very leery of any therapy offered through the internet, even by a licensed marriage counselor. I had never even heard of an online marriage counseling alternative.
Using exercises and games to get over an affair seemed like a novelty that was too easy. How could it possibly work? I was resigned to never feel as safe and secure as I used to.
However, after thinking about it for a few days, I realized that I might not believe it would work, but I wanted it to. I knew if I didn’t at least give it a try, I would never know if I could have saved my marriage.
We started the online counseling alternative, and learned a lot about how losing communication in marriage (we had been going through that) can lead to an affair. I was shocked.
Everything started to make sense.
We also learned that in order to save your marriage, you have to both be committed to making it work. Seeing my husband’s commitment to repairing my feelings and our marriage really helped me to soften towards him.
What really brought us together, though, was the trust building exercises and relationship building activities. We did them every Friday night after our son went to bed. They were almost like going on a date!
We talked, we listened and we even laughed. It was like getting to know each other all over again. I hadn’t even realized how distant we had become until we started getting closer. We were happy again!
Now I know what I could have done differently and my husband knows where he started veering off course. But more importantly we know that those times are behind us. We can move forward with a new trust—something I thought was impossible.
The trust building exercises saved our marriage. If your spouse has had an affair or betrayed your trust, you really can get your trust back and learn how to save your marriage.
Do what we did and fill out the form below. Mort will send free marriage advice to your inbox and get you started on the track to recovery. If my trust could be rebuilt, so can yours!
We were on the verge of divorce. He moved out and filed. I was lost. I purchased the Lone Ranger because he was done. Within weeks he went from ignoring everything I said to spending time together. We reconciled. He moved home.