So you’re asking, “How do I know if my husband loves me?”
I have a surprising answer for you.
Before I share with you my answer, let me assure you that I’m pro marriage. In fact, my job is to help people save their marriage and reconcile their relationship.
Now for my answer to your question.
You don’t. But what’s the difference?
Don’t leave. Allow me to explain.
If you’re asking, “How do I know if my husband loves me?” then you obviously don’t feel loved. If you don’t feel loved, then your husband isn’t treating you in a loving way. That’s probably because he doesn’t love you.
BUT that’s how he feels about you NOW. Don’t make the mistake of interpreting his feelings today as final or permanent. Feelings are never fixed; they’re in a constant state of flux.
Your husbands love (or lack of love) for you is not like molded plastic. Molded plastic, once it comes off the assembly line and dries, is fixed forever. It doesn’t change.
Feelings are constantly evolving based on the dynamics of your relationship. And you contribute 50% to those dynamics.
So the real question is: WILL your husband love you? And that’s not only up to him; it’s up to you. If you treat him and behave in the marriage in a healthy way, then regardless of how he feels about you now he’s likely to love for you in the future.
“Does your husband love you” is not an objective matter; it’s subjective. In other words, it’s not a matter of fate; it’s your choice. I emphasize, YOUR choice.
Your husband does NOT choose his feelings for you. No one CHOOSES feelings. Feelings are spontaneous. They emerge from interactions. Think about it: you interact with someone and that interaction gives rise to feelings.
Years ago, your husband didn’t choose to love you. You met, had experiences together, and love emerged.
Later, you had new experiences, not as positive, and new feelings (bad ones) emerged.
Does your husband love you now? Like I said, what’s the difference? The point is that you want him to love you. And whatever negative feelings he might have now can change. All you have to do is change the kinds of interactions you have. Want to know how to do that? Join me in the Marriage Fitness program.
I was very reluctant to do the program, but I told my wife Michelle I would do it, essentially as a last ditch effort. It turned out to be one of the major things that helped save our marriage.
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