With tears in my eyes, I asked my (separated) husband of nine years, “Is there hope for a marriage after separation?” I am sure many people have the same question. My name is Kira, a guest blogger for Marriage Fitness. It is an honor for me to share my story as inspiration. I could not bear the thought of living life without Gary, my high school sweetheart. We had the most typical love story that any teenager longs for. I started dating Gary in our junior year of high school. We took on all of life’s challenges together as a strong couple in love. That is until we found ourselves falling out of love a short while ago. Gary and I made the joint decision to begin living separately for half a year to rediscover ourselves.
The reason we chose to temporarily separate was because we felt like we were roommates. We no longer felt the connection a husband and wife should. There was no desire left in either one of us. It was as if our spark was no longer there. It seemed much simpler to run away from our problems than to address them head on. So Gary moved to his mother’s home in the next state over. After three months of being apart it already felt like the separation period was dragging on forever. We were barely speaking to each other unless it was regarding our children. My husband and I began living two separate lives. I began to ask myself the same question: is there hope for a marriage after separation?
Gary was much better at hiding his feelings than I was. When I asked him the recurring question; is there hope for a marriage after separation, he gave me the answer that anything is possible. This answer did not satisfy my thirst for answers. I knew I needed to have hope but that was not an easy task. It pained me each day when my children wanted to know when daddy was coming home or even if he would come home. With my tenth wedding anniversary around the corner there was nothing more that I wanted than to be back together with Gary. So I felt that I needed to take initiative and make our family whole again.
With determination in my heart I began to rebuild my marriage. Gary and I came up with an agreement to talk each day and see each other once a week. We followed our plan and made sure not to lose touch. We focused solely on bringing back the love and affection we knew we had for each other. Slowly we began to fall back in love. Once Gary moved back in, we joined the Marriage Fitness program and worked hard to keep the spark alive. I cannot say that living separately was beneficial to our marriage but I can say that I know from experience that there is hope for any marriage after being separated. Our marriage could not have survived without our hope throughout and the Marriage Fitness program.
I was very reluctant to do the program, but I told my wife Michelle I would do it, essentially as a last ditch effort. It turned out to be one of the major things that helped save our marriage.