My name is Penny and my husband is a bully.
Craig has always been kind of an aggressive and forceful guy, but it seemed like things have only gotten worse in the past few years. It got to a point where I was seriously considering leaving him.
If this sounds like a situation that you’re in right now, then please keep reading to learn more about my story and what I did to fix the situation.
Hopefully you’ll be able to find a solution that can help save your marriage.
I met Craig when we were in high school and, like a lot of high school aged guys, he was young and brash. At first, I think that was what I liked about him.
We graduated high school together, kept seeing each other, and eventually got married.
But as things moved on and life changed, Craig pretty much stayed the same.
He’s never been afraid to speak his mind, just as he’s never been afraid to back down from anyone. Believe me when I say that both traits have gotten him into trouble many times in the years that I’ve known him.
I couldn’t have known that those traits would lead to problems in our marriage, though.
It has always been an issue, but I figured that was just his personality and I would just have to get used to it. It wasn’t until Craig hurt his leg playing basketball that I realized how bad the issue had become.
His leg injury was bad enough that he was advised not to do much moving around while it healed, which means that me and the kids essentially became his servants until he was better.
At least, I feel like that’s how he saw it.
He would shout so we could hear him no matter what room we were in. When he called, there was a demanding tone in his voice that’s hard to describe, but unmistakable when you heard it.
When I was out, he’d just harass the kids to get what he wanted. Shawn, our 13 year old son, seemed to get it the worst.
I remember thinking that my husband is a bully when, years ago, he would push Shawn hard at sports. Shawn didn’t particularly like sports, but that never stopped Craig. From what I heard from the kids, the way Craig would taunt and goad Shawn all those years ago was what he was doing to our kids now.
When I tried to confront him about it, he would simply direct the verbal abuse at me. It got to be bad enough that I was seriously evaluating our marriage and whether it should continue. As his leg slowly healed, it seemed like his attitude only got worse.
When I called him out on it, he would fire back and accuse me of being the one who was verbally abusive. I wasn’t about to let him push me around, and this meant that we would argue a lot.
It was at this point that the kids fully realized that my husband is a bully. They would ask questions like why we were fighting so much and why their dad was being so mean.
I knew I had to do something about Craig’s behavior before it tore the family apart. I couldn’t let that happen to our children.
I knew I had to get help.
Craig was already a stubborn guy, but everything that happened only made things worse. I didn’t know what to expect when I went to him to suggest that we get help but I figured “my husband is a bully, so I don’t have much to lose”.
I practically demanded that we get help for our problems, but he fought me at first. When I told him how the kids were worried, he said they should toughen up. When I told him that I had thought more than once about leaving him over what had developed, he started paying attention.
After I did some searching, I found an alternative to traditional marriage counseling that helped us. Through this counseling, we realized that our marriage lacked important communication.
The fact that I didn’t stand up for myself until pushed is why my husband is a bully but, through this counseling, I learned that it didn’t have to be that way.
Craig was, and still is, set in his ways but things are slowly changing as we talk more and work with each other rather than try to compete.
We’re on our way to being a much better couple than we’ve ever been, and I couldn’t be happier about it.
If you’ve ever been in a situation like mine, then please fill out the information below.
You might find yourself saying “my husband is a bully”, but it doesn’t need to be that way. With the advice you’ll find, you might be able to revive your marriage just like I did.
A little over a year ago I thought my marriage was over. She was moving out. Thank you Mort for giving me the tools that I needed to save my marriage. One year later and we are happier than ever and back together.
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