Ever find yourself thinking, my husband is never home? My name is Amy, and my husband James’ busy schedule seriously threatened our relationship.
After what seemed like years of never getting to spend any time with him, I almost called it quits.
Thankfully, I didn’t. Keep reading to learn how we saved our relationship!
James is a high profile defense lawyer and works A LOT. I knew this getting into the marriage and when he was busy with a case I knew I probably wouldn’t be able to see him that much. And I was ok with that… at first.
Three years, and two children later, though, I became overwhelmed. It seemed like when I needed my husband’s help he was never there. My husband was ALWAYS busy! He would leave at 7 every morning and wouldn’t be home until 11 at night. He even worked on the weekends.
But I understood that he needed to work to provide for us, and was hesitant to complain.
But then my mother, who I was very close to, died.
At the same time, James was knee deep in the biggest case of his life.
For almost two weeks after my mother died, I barely saw my husband. He’d leave before I woke up and come home when I was sleeping. If I did see him he was stressed, tired, and in a bad mood. Between the grieving and my responsibilities caring for our children, I just couldn’t take it anymore.
I needed someone to talk to, and I didn’t have ANYONE! I began to wonder why I was even married. After all, it seemed like he never comes home. The money wasn’t important to me anymore. I just wanted a husband who was there for more when I needed him.
So the second my husband’s case ended I confronted him. I told him everything I was feeling—that I never see him, that I don’t want to feel this loneliness in marriage, and that this is NOT what I want from my marriage. I want a partner, not a financier.
When I told him that I just couldn’t do this anymore, I could see the hurt in his eyes. He told me that he missed me too. That he didn’t want to work all of the time. He was devastated that he couldn’t be there for me after my mother died. That he felt like he was missing out on our children’s lives.
He suggested that we get help, and that he would take a vacation to fix everything that’s wrong with or marriage.
We knew that when my husband went back to work, that he wouldn’t have time to dedicate for a counselor. (And what time he did have, I wanted for myself J.)
So we turned to the Internet and found this site.
We signed up for the online marriage counseling alternative, and WOW! After just a few sessions it was like the floodgates to our communication in marriage was opened. We began talking about our plans, goals, expectations, disappointments, and surprises in life.
Most of all we began to have candid conversations about where our marriage was headed, and where we want it to head.
Here we are 6 months later and we still dedicate time to completing exercises from the counseling alternative every week.
What changed? My husband still works a lot, but I see him now more than ever. He’s learned to schedule time for our family. The online counseling helped him to manage his priorities and time better.
We couldn’t be happier!
If you’re facing hard times in your marriage, or if you find yourself thinking my husband is never home, do what we did and sign up for the free marriage advice below.
Without the help of this site, our marriage may not have survived. But with the help of this site, our marriage is stronger than ever! These online marriage counseling exercises could help you too.
A little over a year ago I thought my marriage was over. She was moving out. Thank you Mort for giving me the tools that I needed to save my marriage. One year later and we are happier than ever and back together.