Hello, my name is Carol. Thirteen years ago, I married my husband Robert. We started off as the best of friends, then as our friendship grew stronger, the feelings came for each other. When we got married, and for the few years after our wedding, I was the most important person in my husband’s life. I was the person that he would spend all of his time with, and I assume I was the person that he wanted to spend all of his time with. Now, I have to share my time in our marriage. I am sad to say, my husband spends too much time on the internet.
I never thought that I would have to share my time with my husband with a piece of technology. To me, it’s not just a computer with internet that is taking up my husband’s time, it is what comes with it. My husband’s eyes are always on his computer or his smart phone. Our conversations seem to be limited because my husband always seems preoccupied.
Along with the internet, comes random people from all over the world that my husband shares his life with. To me, they are complete strangers, but to my husband, they are just like they spend every second with my husband. He thinks that these people that he never met before, know him better then most people. My husband doesn’t realize that his relationships with these strangers, are taking time from us working on our relationship. It hurts me.
Every time I speak to my husband about limiting his internet, he agrees for that hour and then next thing I know he is back on the internet. The chat alerts are going off like crazy. I never thought a tiny ping sound would make me so mad. I would get jealous that these people that my husband gives so much of his time to would be able to grab my husband’s attention, and me, the wife, can’t grab his attention from being right in front of him.
Since speaking to my husband about his time on the internet didn’t seem to help me at all, I would start to be snappy for the most ridiculous reasons. My frustration level was through the roof, and I needed a way for this to be stopped. I also didn’t want the way to get my husband’s attention back to be fighting with him for tiny reasons. I wanted so much for everything to be normal, I just didn’t know how to go about it.
Finally, I realized that fighting with my husband was not getting anywhere. I was so upset that my husband spends too much time on the internet. I needed to fix something, and fix my marriage quick. I hesitantly suggested to my husband that maybe we should seek counseling. To my surprise, my husband agreed. Together, we came across Mort Fertel’s Marriage Fitness program. Through this program, we learned about healthy communication and how to separate the internet from our daily lives. I’m so happy to not have to share my husband anymore!
I was desperate cried and begged. I found Marriage fitness. After 9 months of saying get out she said "how do we heal?" It's been 4 months since our reconciliation and we feel a sense of optimism.